The Izzy Way Book Review
I picked up The Power of Flexing because I wanted a fresh perspective on influence and leadership—not the “be yourself and people will follow” kind of advice, but practical, realistic ways to navigate complex workplace dynamics. Susan Ashford doesn’t offer fluff or idealized strategies and dives into the messy reality: the moments when your natural style isn’t enough, and you need to flex to achieve results, build trust, or resolve conflict.
What I loved is that it’s grounded in real situations. Ashford shares research-backed insights alongside relatable examples that make you think, “Oh, I’ve been there.” The book isn’t about manipulation; it’s about adaptability—learning to adjust your approach without losing authenticity. Reading it made me reflect on times I’d stuck rigidly to my habits, wondering if a slight shift could have made a big difference.
The biggest takeaway for me? Leadership – and influence more broadly – isn’t just about who you are, it’s about how you show up in the moment. The right approach changes depending on the person, the context, and the stakes. Flexing is about being strategic, empathetic, and responsive, not fake.
One section that really hit me was on understanding others’ motives and perspectives. Ashford explains how successful leaders read the room and flex their behavior to match the situation, without compromising on their values. It made me think about how I show up for my own team. How often have I expected them to meet me on my terms, rather than adjusting to theirs? Just thinking about that question has allowed me to tweak how I approach conversations.
Another standout part was her framework for “behavioral flexibility” in challenging interactions. She breaks down different styles—assertive, analytical, supportive, expressive—and explains when and how to adapt to each. It’s practical, actionable, and immediately applicable. I found myself jotting down notes on how to approach specific situations differently.
Reading this book has made me more mindful of my own reactions and how they affect outcomes. I catch myself pausing before responding to a tricky question or a high-stakes conversation: Am I flexing too little? Too much? Am I reading the signals correctly? Those minor adjustments feel subtle, but they’ve already changed the way I interact with my team and colleagues.
5 Takeaways I’m Actually Using After Reading The Power of Flexing
- Adapt without losing authenticity.
Flexing isn’t pretending; it’s about adjusting your approach to connect and influence effectively. - Read the person, not just the problem.
Understanding motivations, style, and perspective helps you respond in a way that actually works. - Small shifts make a big difference.
Tiny behavioral tweaks in communication or decision-making can dramatically change outcomes. - Flexing requires awareness
You have to notice your natural tendencies and when they help – or hurt – you. - Conflict can be constructive.
When you flex thoughtfully, even disagreements can lead to better collaboration and understanding.
The Power of Flexing isn’t a quick fix or a leadership pep talk. It’s a reminder that influence is situational, subtle, and skillful—but entirely learnable. If you want to lead with more impact, navigate tricky dynamics with confidence, and understand how small behavioral changes can have significant results, this book is worth your attention.
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